♪ WE NEVER THOUGHT OF FINDING ♪
♪ A PLACE WHERE WE BELONG ♪
♪ DON'T HAVE TO STAND ALONE ♪
♪ WE'LL NEVER LET YOU FALL ♪
♪ DON'T NEED PERMISSION ♪
♪ TO DECIDE WHAT YOU BELIEVE ♪
♪ YOU'RE GONNA LEARN SOMETHING ♪
♪ WHEN WE MEET YOU AFTER SCHOOL ♪
♪ I SAID JUMP! ♪
♪ DOWN ON JUMP STREET ♪
♪ I SAID JUMP! ♪
♪ DOWN ON JUMP STREET ♪
♪ YOUR FRIENDS WILL BE THERE ♪
♪ WHEN YOUR BACK IS TO THE WALL ♪
♪ YOU'LL FIND YOU NEED US ♪
♪ 'CAUSE THERE'S NO ONE ELSE TO CALL ♪
♪ WHEN IT LOOKS HOPELESS ♪
♪ A DECISION'S WHAT YOU NEED ♪
♪ YOU BETTER BE READY ♪
♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME ♪
♪ I SAID JUMP! ♪
♪ 21 JUMP STREET! ♪
Jenko: SPEEDING RIGHT ALONG...
APPARENTLY SOMEBODY IS TRYING
TO RELOCATE SOUTH CENTRAL HIGH SCHOOL ONE ROOM AT A TIME.
LAST NIGHT WAS THE FOURTH B & E
IN THE SAME AMOUNT OF MONTHS.
NO FORCED ENTRY.
NO BUSTED WINDOWS.
BURGLARY SAYS IT SMACKS OF AN INSIDE GIG--
ONE KID GETS A SET OF MASTER KEYS.
NEXT THING, HALF THE SCHOOL'S DRINKING FREE SODAS.
ON TOP OF THAT
SOME TEACHER'S GETTING FREE ROSES
FROM SOME SECRET ADMIRER.
CHECK IT OUT, HANSON
BEFORE THE KIDS WALK INTO AN EMPTY SCHOOLHOUSE.
GOT ANY SUSPECTS?
MY BEST BET IS A GUY NAMED JEFFREY STONE.
SELLS EVERYTHING FROM HOT RECORDS
TO TICKETS TO THE BOSS'S CONCERTS--
THIRD ROW CENTER.
HOW DO I GET CLOSE?
I DON'T KNOW.
ASK HIM TO A ROCK CONCERT, I GUESS.
ANYTHING ELSE?
COULD YOU CLEAR ME ON A COUPLE EXTRA LUNCH HOURS?
I GOT THAT PHYSICAL EXAM TODAY.
HEY, TERRIFIC, HARRY.
SO YOU'RE TAKING YOUR SERGEANT'S EXAM--
SERGEANT H.T. IOKI.
I CAN DIG IT, MAN.
STUDY HARD AND FAST, HARRY, AND GOOD LUCK.
( tire blows out )
OH, TERRIFIC.
NO JACK.
YO! FLAT TIRE!
HEY, FLAT TIRE!
ANYBODY WANT TO STOP HERE?
( horn honking )
HI.
LOOKS LIKE YOU COULD USE SOME HELP.
YEAH, I COULD.
MY TIRE'S FLAT.
ONLY ON THE BOTTOM.
YOU WOULDN'T HAVE A JACK, WOULD YOU?
I KNOW A JACK, BUT I DON'T HAVE A JACK.
BIG GUY, DARK HAIR
EATS WITH HIS FINGERS, LOUSY DANCER.
DIFFERENT JACK.
LUCKY YOU.
HERE...
WELCOME TO THE '80S.
THANKS.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
THERE SHOULD BE ENOUGH LEFT TO FILL UP THE BOTTOM.
GIVE MY REGARDS TO JACK.
OH, I CAN'T.
I DON'T SEE HIM ANYMORE.
THEN CAN I MAKE THIS UP TO YOU?
WHAT DID YOU HAVE IN MIND?
I DON'T KNOW.
AT LEAST LET ME FIX YOUR NEXT FLAT.
THEN WHO KNOWS-- LUNCH
A HOUSE IN THE SUBURBS
POSSIBLY A KID WHEN WE'RE READY.
I'M NOT PLANNING ON HAVING ONE SOON.
A KID OR A FLAT?
BOTH-- NO JACK.
ARE YOU TAKING APPLICATIONS?
HAVE ANOTHER FLAT, AND I'LL LET YOU KNOW.
SUSAN CHADWICK.
I'M IN THE BOOK UNDER AUTO REPAIR.
Albert: WEINTRAUB WANTS TO SEE YOU.
THAT'S A HOT TIP.
TO THINK SOME PEOPLE THINK YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
NICE WORK, ALBERT.
THIS FROM YOUR POST-TARDO PERIOD?
YOU PUNKS, ALL YOU DO IS MAKE WORK FOR ME.
AND DON'T YOU CALL ME "ALBERT."
THAT'S RIGHT.
IT'S JANOWITZ.
THAT'S POLISH FOR JANITOR, RIGHT?
YOU STILL WANT IT?
WANT WHAT?
THE COMPACT DISC PLAYER, MR. JANITOR.
I ONLY GOT TWO LEFT.
THEY'RE VERY CHIC.
THEY MAKE FOR A GREAT GIFT ITEM
IF YOU WANT TO IMPRESS YOUR GIRLFRIEND.
THAT IS, IF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.
RELAX.
I'LL GIVE IT TO MINE.
HAVE A NICE DAY.
Weintraub: ANY IDEA WHO THE ARTIST IS?
Jeffrey: GRAFFITI ART IS ALL THE RAGE NOW.
A GUY IN NEW YORK SELLS THIS CRAP BY THE TON.
PERSONALLY, I'M A PERFORMANCE ARTIST.
YOU KNOW, HANGING UPSIDE DOWN
WITH A HAMMER IN MY MOUTH OVER DRY ICE.
SORRY.
HAND OVER MY HALL PASS.
I'D HATE TO MISS CHADWICK'S ENGLISH CLASS.
NO, STONE.
THIS MORNING, LET'S CHANGE THE ROUTINE A LITTLE.
SIT DOWN.
HOW ARE YOU SPENDING YOUR TIME AT NIGHT, YOU WORKING?
NEITHER OF YOUR FIRST PERIOD TEACHERS CAN REMEMBER
WHEN THEY SAW YOU IN CLASS LAST.
IT'S HARD FOR A NIGHT PERSON TO WORK DAYS.
WHAT DO YOU DO AT NIGHT?
SAME THING AS ANYBODY ELSE.
I JUST DO IT A LITTLE LONGER.
MS. CHADWICK FOUND THIS ROSE ON HER DESK THIS MORNING.
COINCIDENTALLY, THE SCHOOL WAS BURGLARIZED AGAIN LAST NIGHT.
TRY MERLIN OLSEN.
MAYBE AN F.T.D. CUPID'S GONE BAD.
YOU'RE A SMART KID, STONE.
DON'T SCREW UP YOUR LIFE OVER A FEW KICKS.
LOOK, MAN, IF YOU'RE ACCUSING ME OF SOMETHING, HAVE ME ARRESTED.
OTHERWISE, YOU'RE DEPRIVING ME OF AN EDUCATION.
YOU WANT SOME EXCITEMENT IN YOUR LIFE?
TRY OUT FOR THE BASKETBALL TEAM.
YOUR BROTHER LOVED IT.
DID HIM A LOT OF GOOD.
MAYBE I CAN GET LOST IN CAMBODIA, TOO.
ZERO HERO, MAN.
Chadwick: HIS IMAGERY AND RHYTHMS ARE STILL CONSIDERED TODAY
SOME OF THE MOST URGENT IN CONTEMPORARY POETRY.
TAKE A FEW MINUTES TO READ THIS SHORT WORK
AND READ IT A COUPLE OF TIMES
PAYING SPECIFIC ATTENTION TO HIS LAYERS OF IMAGERY
AND HOW THOSE IMAGES COLLECTIVELY
BUILD TO THEIR OWN INNER CONCLUSIONS.
DON'T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE CALLED FIRST?
I MEAN, THIS IS A LITTLE...
EMBARRASSING?
I'LL SAY.
LOOKS LIKE I'M SORT OF IN YOUR CLASS.
OH, LISTEN...
IT'S OKAY.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY A THING.
FORGET ABOUT IT.
I'M JUST A GUY WITH A FLAT TIRE
AND YOU'VE GOT A CLASS TO TEACH.
SO...
YEAH.
CLASS, THIS IS TOM GILMORE.
HE'S A NEW STUDENT HERE.
TOM, I'M MS. CHADWICK.
PLEASED TO MEET YOU, MS. CHADWICK.
OKAY, SO HERE YOU GO.
HELP YOURSELF TO ANY AVAILABLE SEAT.
SORRY, MS. CHADWICK.
IT'S THESE ALIENS.
YOU CAN'T RELY ON THEM FOR ANYTHING.
THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE ME BACK ON EARTH IN TIME FOR CLASS
BUT IT TOOK A WHILE TO UNHOOK THE LIFE SUPPORT SYSTEM.
HOW ARE YOU...
THANK YOU, JEFFREY.
I'M SURE WE'RE ALL AMUSED.
I WONDER, CAN WE HOLD AN ENGLISH CLASS?
LET'S READ THE POEM
AND WE'LL DISCUSS IT AT TEN MINUTES PAST THE HOUR.
PSST.
VAN HALEN, DUDE.
ABSOLUTELY LIVE
ABSOLUTELY THE LAST TWO TICKETS.
WHERE DID YOU GET THEM?
I'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER TOWN.
DON'T GRAB.
WE ARE A CIVILIZED PEOPLE.
IF YOU WANT THEM, THEY'RE YOURS--
EIGHTY BUCKS.
CAN YOU FRONT ME?
FRONT YOU?
VAN HALEN, DUDE.
I'LL TAKE 'EM-- 70 BUCKS RIGHT NOW.
SEVENTY-FIVE.
SEVENTY BUCKS.
THE MAN KNOWS HIS MUSIC.
THIS IS AN ENGLISH CLASS, NOT AN AUCTION.
I HEARD THE GOOD NEWS.
WHAT GOOD NEWS IS THAT?
THAT YOU'VE GOT A SECRET ADMIRER.
SOMEONE BROUGHT YOU FLOWERS LAST NIGHT, MS. CHADWICK?
HEY, NEGOTIATOR.
YOU STILL WANT THEM FOR 70?
SIXTY NOW.
MARKET GETS SOFT AFTER THE BELL RINGS.
DON'T TRY TO OUTGUN A GUNNER, ACE.
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
FREE?
WHY?
THIS WAY I WIN.
IT'S LIKE A BANK GIVING AWAY FREE TOASTERS.
YOU KNOW, NEW CUSTOMERS AND ALL.
SO YOU GOT A GIRLFRIEND?
MAYBE.
I GOT A COMPACT DISC PLAYER.
MAKES FOR A GREAT GIFT ITEM.
NO, THANKS.
MY GIRLFRIEND THINKS I'M A GREAT GIFT ITEM.
ZENO'S, TONIGHT, AT 7:00, RIGHT?
I'LL BUY YOU A DRINK.
DOESN'T A HOTSHOT LIKE YOU HAVE FRIENDS?
DEPENDS ON WHAT THEY'RE SELLING FOR.
IF YOU NEED AN I.D.
I GOT A DEPARTMENT THAT HANDLES THAT, TOO.
MOST OF THESE OTHER JERKS
ARE JUST WAITING FOR THE PROM.
YOU NEED SOMEONE TO SHOW YOU AROUND
BEFORE YOU END UP BUYING SOME DOG A CORSAGE.
LATER.
Lazzar: KIDS HAVE HAD CRUSHES ON THEIR TEACHERS FOREVER.
IT'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
UP A FEW MORE INCHES ON YOUR SIDE.
PERFECT.
THIS IS MORE THAN JUST A CRUSH.
I CAN SEE IT IN HIS EYES.
AND WITH THAT BURGLARY LAST NIGHT
AND THE ROSE ON MY DESK...
SUSAN, YOUR CLASS IS THE ONLY ONE
JEFFREY ATTENDS WITH ANY REGULARITY.
IF I TAKE HIM OUT NOW
I'M AFRAID HE'LL JUST STOP COMING TO SCHOOL.
I LIKE JEFFREY.
HE'S A BRIGHT KID.
I HAD HIM AS A SOPHOMORE.
HIS FOLKS SPLIT UP THEN.
HE TOOK IT PRETTY HARD.
TOO BAD KYLE ISN'T HERE.
HE'D HAVE BEEN A GOOD INFLUENCE.
HANDSOME BOY. VERY POPULAR.
YOU'D HAVE LIKED HIM.
ALL-AMERICAN
WASN'T HE, ALBERT?
YES, MA'AM.
BASKETBALL STATE CHAMPIONS MY SENIOR YEAR.
COME ON, SUSAN.
DIDN'T YOU EVER HAVE A CRUSH ON A TEACHER?
MINE WAS MR. PETERSON--
EIGHTH-GRADE BIOLOGY.
LUCKY GUY.
SEE YOU IN THE MORNING.
YEAH, THANKS.
NO DISRESPECT TO MS. LAZZAR, BUT...
HE WASN'T SUCH A HOTSHOT--
STONE'S OLDER BROTHER, KYLE.
BELIEVE ME.
AND ALL MOUTH, BOTH OF THEM.
MUST BE HEREDITARY.
IF THAT LITTLE PUNK GIVES YOU ANY MORE TROUBLE
I'LL HANDLE HIM.
HI.
GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU.
I WOULDN'T WANT TO OWE YOU
WHEN IT COMES TO MIDTERMS, YOU KNOW.
OKAY, SO WE'RE EVEN.
AND LISTEN, THANKS A LOT FOR... YOU KNOW.
IT COULD HAVE BEEN REAL EMBARRASSING FOR ME.
I CAME ON PRETTY HARD, AND I'M A TEACHER.
YES, MA'AM, AND I'M JUST A KID IN YOUR CLASS WITH A FLAT TIRE.
YEP, I GUESS YOU ARE.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER, MS. CHADWICK.
YOU KNOW...
I DIDN'T FIGURE YOU FOR A VAN HALEN FAN.
AND I DIDN'T FIGURE YOU
FOR A TEACHER, EITHER.
GOOD-BYE.
BYE.
( TV turns on )
( explosion )
( honking )
LOOKING FOR SOMETHING, OR...
JUST WANT TO SEE IF THE THING WORKS?
( TV turns off )
HAVE YOU GOT ANY MONEY?
YEAH... WHY?
DID YOU SPEND ALL YOURS OUT REPLACING PAJAMAS?
NO, WISEACRE,
I'LL BE OUT OF TOWN ALL NEXT WEEK
AND I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT GET HUNGRY.
LOOK, YOU KIDS... DON'T WAIT UP FOR ME.
REMEMBER,
TOMORROW'S A SCHOOL DAY.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
OUT.
WHERE'S OUT?
NOT IN.
( rock music playing )
NICE PLACE.
TERRIFIC SERVICE.
I'LL BET THE ESCARGOT IS EXCELLENT.
YOU WANT FRIENDLY, GO TO PIZZA HUT.
WHOA.
BIZARRE SEATS FOR THE U2 CONCERT.
JEFFREY, I'M A HAPPY GIRL.
WHO'S YOUR FRIEND?
KARLA, LIKE, I'M HAPPY YOU'RE HAPPY
BUT I'M BUSY.
I'M KARLA.
STOP BY AND RUIN ME.
FORGET IT.
THE CHICK'S A POSTER CHILD
FOR LUDES.
DID YOU BRING IT?
MY BOYFRIEND'S GOING TO GO NUTS.
YOUR BOYFRIEND IS NUTS.
A GREAT GIFT ITEM.
YOU LOST OUT, MAN.
THAT WAS MY LAST ONE.
YOUR GIRLFRIEND WOULD HAVE LOVED IT.
I'LL BUY HER A CORSAGE.
THIS PLACE STINKS.
FINISH YOUR BEER, AND LET'S HIT THE ROAD.
I DON'T DRINK.
Stone: THAT'S CHADWICK.
SHE LIKES TO READ IN BED.
Hanson: WHAT DO YOU DO?
YOU SPY ON HER?
A MAN'S GOT TO HAVE HIS HOBBIES, GILMORE.
WHERE ARE WE GOING?
RELAX, GILMORE.
I'M DRIVING THIS TOUR BUS.
WELL, SO FAR THE TOUR STINKS.
THEN LET'S GO SOMEPLACE WITH A VIEW.
OKAY.
CLOSE IT UP, GILMORE.
IF EVER YOU NEED TO CHANGE AN ATTENDANCE RECORD
A GRADE, WHATEVER
YOU PUSH BACK THESE FOUR SCREWS.
YOU PULL UP THE EXHAUST FAN COVER
BAMMO, YOU'RE IN.
FOLLOW ME.
HOW ABOUT THIS VIEW, HUH?
YEAH, IT'S NICE.
WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING UP HERE?
GETTING AWAY FROM DOWN THERE.
GETTING AWAY FROM WHAT, EXACTLY?
STUFF, GILMORE.
ADULT PARANOIA.
STATE CHAMPIONSHIPS.
SENIOR DANCES.
CAMBODIA.
SO, WHAT DID YOU GET?
WHAT?
MAN, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DEALING WITH?
YOU RE-SOLD THOSE VAN HALEN TICKETS.
HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?
COME ON, GILMORE.
YOU'VE NEVER LISTENED TO VAN HALEN IN YOUR LIFE.
I KNOW PEOPLE.
THAT'S MY TALENT.
SOME GUYS ARE GOOD WITH... BASKETBALL.
I'M GOOD WITH PEOPLE.
LOOK, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
EVEN IF THEY WERE A GIFT.
I DON'T MIND.
BESIDES...
THERE AIN'T NOTHING IN THE BOOK THAT SAYS
YOU CAN'T SELL ANYTHING THAT'S YOURS.
MAYBE WE CAN
GO INTO BUSINESS TOGETHER.
YOU THINK SO, HUH?
SPLIT ALL THAT LUNCH MONEY BETWEEN US.
WOW.
CONCERT TICKETS
C.D.s AND ANYTHING ELSE YOU CAN MOVE.
I DON'T KNOW, PRETTY BIG-TIME STUFF
BUT...
IT WOULD BORE ME.
STRIKE.
STRIKE?
YES!
STRIKE MY EYE!
I'D NEED AN ELEVATOR TO REACH THAT BALL!
PLAY BALL!
BILLY MARTIN, BILLY MARTIN.
COME ON, GUYS.
COME ON, HARRY.
Penhall: PLAY BALL.
OKAY, HARRY, ACCORDING TO MUNICIPAL CODE
NO PERSON BELOW
THE AGE OF...
EIGHTEEN
WILL BE GRANTED A GUN PERMIT
WITHOUT WRITTEN CONSENT
BY A PARENT OR GUARDIAN.
Hanson: UNLESS THEY HAVE
A FELONY CONVICTION IN THE LAST SEVEN YEARS.
I WAS GETTING TO THAT PART.
WAIT FOR YOUR PITCH, HARRY.
YOU GUYS MIGHT HAVE INVENTED THE GAME
BUT WE PERFECTED IT.
YEAH, SUSHI AND BASEBALL, RIGHT?
HOW WAS YOUR CONCERT?
RADICAL, AWESOME, LIKE WOW?
I'VE NEVER LISTENED TO VAN HALEN IN MY LIFE.
I GOT THAT FROM AN EXPERT.
JEFFREY STILL MIGHT BE OUR GUY.
HE'S A REAL LONER
PART-TIME JUNIOR VAMPIRE
SPIES ON HIS ENGLISH TEACHER AT NIGHT
AND HANGS OUT ON THE SCHOOL ROOF.
TRIES TO BE A HARD GUY.
HUGE CAMPAIGN, BUT NOT A LOT OF VOTES.
ANY PRIORS?
NO, JUST A FELONY-SIZE
CHIP ON HIS SHOULDER--
PROBLEMS AT HOME, THINGS LIKE THAT.
I'M NOT SURE WHAT HE SELLS IS HOT.
HE THINKS I'M A PLAYER.
OH, WAIT, I DIDN'T ORDER THAT.
I DID.
MIND IF I JOIN YOU?
WELL, ACTUALLY, I'M A LITTLE BUSY RIGHT NOW
AND YOU SHOULDN'T BE BUYING ME A DRINK.
I DIDN'T.
I BOUGHT IT FOR ME.
BESIDES, IT'S A COKE.
DID YOU SPILL THE FIRST ONE?
IT'S RAINING.
IT'S RAINING?
OH, GREAT, I WALKED HERE.
THIS IS A STRANGE PLACE
TO BE GRADING PAPERS
DON'T YOU THINK?
NOT CONSIDERING MOST ARE WRITTEN AT TWISTED SISTER CONCERTS.
YOU'RE A TWISTED SISTER FAN?
I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO FORGET OUR FIRST MEETING.
WHAT MEETING?
I DON'T WANT YOU TO HAVE THE WRONG IMPRESSION OF ME.
TO BE HONEST
I WAS ATTRACTED TO YOU
BUT IT WASN'T REALLY YOU I WAS ATTRACTED TO.
WHO WAS IT?
THERE'S SOMEONE AROUND TOWN WHO LOOKS JUST LIKE ME--
BIG GUY, DARK HAIR
EATS WITH HIS FINGERS
LOUSY DANCER.
THE WORST, TERRIBLE.
WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY...
IS IF THINGS WERE SUDDENLY DIFFERENT
AND WE REALLY WERE THOSE TWO PEOPLE BACK THERE
WHO KNOWS, BUT...
WE'RE NOT.
I'M YOUR TEACHER.
YOU'RE MY STUDENT.
TEACHER, STUDENT, SEE?
OKAY, FINE
BUT THE NEXT TIME I GET A FLAT TIRE, DON'T STOP
AND IF YOU DO...
DON'T BE SO DAMN CUTE.
DARN CUTE.
I BET YOU'RE GOING TO GROW UP TO BE A BIOLOGY TEACHER.
I AM GROWN UP.
LOOK, MS. CHADWICK, I WALKED IN THE DOOR
I SAW YOU SITTING HERE
I THOUGHT I'D COME BY AND SAY HI.
THAT WAS ALL.
JUST RELAX, OKAY?
A BIOLOGY TEACHER?
THERE'S JUST ONE MORE THING I SHOULD ASK YOU
STRICTLY STUDENT TO TEACHER.
IS THIS WHY I FOUND ROQUEFORT DRESSING ON MY BOOK REPORT?
PROBABLY.
THANK YOU.
( echoes of crowd cheering )
( echoes of crowd booing )
( buzzer sounds )
THANKS AGAIN FOR THE RIDE.
IT'S FLU SEASON.
YOU SHOULD BE CAREFUL.
I HAD FUN.
THANKS.
GOOD NIGHT.
YOU KNOW...
THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT YOU THAT DOESN'T FIT.
MAYBE YOU DON'T HAVE ALL THE PIECES YET.
OH, REALLY?
REALLY.
YOU HAVE A DATE FOR THE PROM?
SEVEN YEARS AGO, THANK YOU.
HEY, NEVER WORK THAT DEEP WITHOUT A SNORKEL.
YOU CAN DAMAGE THE BRAIN.
ACCORDING TO MUNICIPAL CODE
A QUARRY LOCATED WITHIN THE CITY LIMITS
MUST BE ENCLOSED WITH A WOODEN OR WIRE FENCE...
...NOT LESS THAN SIX FEET
ABOVE THE EXISTING GRATE.
DON'T WORRY.
WE DON'T HAVE QUARRIES.
RELAX.
HOW'S IT GOING?
I BREEZED THROUGH MY WRITTEN.
GOT MY ORAL THURSDAY
AND AFTER THAT SERGEANT IOKI.
JENK WANTS TO SEE YOU IN HIS OFFICE.
THEY HIT AGAIN LAST NIGHT.
TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS' WORTH OF DESK CALCULATORS.
TERRIFIC.
JENKO, I'M SORRY.
I NEVER THOUGHT HE'D HIT AGAIN THIS SOON.
IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.
GUYS WHO CAMP OUT ON SCHOOL ROOFTOPS
DON'T USUALLY MAKE MUCH SENSE.
I THOUGHT I NEEDED TO GIVE HIM SOME ROOM.
WELL, YOU GAVE HIM ROOM.
THE SCHOOL PRINCIPAL
IS SCREAMING AT OUR GUYS DOWNTOWN.
BECAUSE OF OUR CRACKERJACK PROTECTION
HE'LL BE FORCED TO HIRE AN OUTSIDE SECURITY FIRM.
TALK LIKE THAT, PAL
CAN PUT OUR JUMP STREET PROGRAM RIGHT INTO THE TOILET.
SO, WHAT WAS OUR ROOFTOP ROMEO UP TO LAST NIGHT?
A LITTLE WINDOW-PEEPING ON THE TEACHER?
WHAT DOES SHE LOOK LIKE, ANYWAY?
OH, SHE'S...
I WASN'T WITH STONE LAST NIGHT.
I WAS... OUT.
WHERE'S "OUT"?
OUT, OUT.
I HAD SOMETHING TO EAT WITH A FRIEND.
AND WHO MIGHT THAT BE, SPORT?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHO?
I DON'T MEAN THE WHO, AS IN THE ROCK GROUP.
I MEAN, WHAT PARTY WERE YOU WITH?
NOW WE KNOW IT WASN'T OUR MAN STONE
AS HE WAS OBVIOUSLY OCCUPIED.
( sighs )
I WAS WITH MY...
ENGLISH TEACHER.
AH, THE TEACHER.
I HOPE YOU HAD A SWELL TIME.
I TRIED.
UH-HUH, I BET YOU DID.
DIAGRAM A FEW SENTENCES, BUB?
I'M SORRY.
HEY, HEY, YOU'RE A PERSON.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE
FOR HAVING A PERSONAL LIFE.
YOU SHOULD JUST REMEMBER TO HAVE IT
ON YOUR YEARLY TWO-WEEK VACATION.
IF YOU THINK YOU STILL HAVE A CASE
MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO PICK UP YOUR BUDDY STONE.
YEAH.
OKEY-DOKEY.
OKEY-DOKE.
CHEKHOV, IN ADDITION TO HIS MANY CONTRIBUTIONS
TO THE WORLD OF THEATER--
WHICH, AS I'M SURE YOU ALL KNOW
HAVE RECEIVED WORLDWIDE RECOGNITION--
WAS ALSO A RESPECTED ESSAYIST...
EXCUSE ME A SECOND.
NO, JEFFREY ISN'T IN CLASS TODAY.
WAS THERE A ROSE ON YOUR DESK TODAY?
YES.
BUT I'M SURE IT'S JUST A HARMLESS CRUSH.
"HARMLESS CRUSH"?
THE GUY'S A THIEF.
ALBERT, I'LL HANDLE THIS.
WOULD YOU COME WITH US, MS. CHADWICK?
SIR, I REALLY DON'T THINK IT'S FAIR
TO JUST SEARCH A STUDENT'S LOCKER.
IT'S NOT ONLY UNFAIR, IT'S ILLEGAL.
TOM, PLEASE STAY OUT OF THIS.
I'M ALREADY INTO IT.
RETURN TO CLASS OR GET DETENTION.
OPEN IT.
DON'T DO THIS!
TOM...
I HAVE TO ASK YOU NOT TO OPEN
JEFFREY STONE'S LOCKER.
I'M A POLICE OFFICER.
THAT WAS ONE OF THE PIECES MISSING.
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?
OPENING THAT LOCKER IS ILLEGAL SEARCH AND SEIZURE.
Weintraub: A COP?
WHY WASN'T I NOTIFIED?
THEN IT'S NOT UNDERCOVER.
YOU'RE HARASSING THE STUDENT BODY?
NO, I PRETTY MUCH STAY AWAY
FROM THE STUDENT BODIES.
OPEN IT.
NOT WITHOUT PROBABLE CAUSE.
WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT IS CAUSE ENOUGH.
ALBERT SAW STONE'S CAR IN THE PARKING LOT
BEFORE HE OPENED THE SCHOOL.
Janowitz: HE WAS SLINKING THESE HALLWAYS.
I TURNED AROUND AND HE DRIVES AWAY.
( school bell rings )
Weintraub: I WANT STONE ARRESTED.
Hanson: NO!
I HAVE EVERY RIGHT...
LET ME DO MY JOB!
DON'T BE AN IDIOT.
Stone: I DON'T KNOW.
THAT'S ASKING A LOT.
Stone: SOMETHING I CAN DO FOR YOU?
NEED TICKETS TO VAN HALEN?
TELL YOU WHAT, I'LL TRADE YOU
TWO FRONT ROW CENTER SEATS
FOR A STACK OF SIGNED HALL PASSES.
OPEN IT.
WHY?
OPEN YOUR LOCKER, JEFF.
GET A GUY SOME FAKE I.D.
AND WHAM, HE STARTS
GIVING ORDERS LIKE AN ADULT.
THIS ONE'S NOT FAKE.
WHY, YOU NARC BLOSSOM.
VERY SMOOTH ROUTINE, GILMORE.
VERY SMOOTH INDEED.
FOR A WHILE THERE, I THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST A JERK
BUT YOU'RE A PROFESSIONAL JERK
RIGHT?
GILMORE?
BET YOU THAT ISN'T EVEN YOUR REAL NAME.
OPEN YOUR LOCKER, SON.
NOT WITHOUT A WARRANT.
EVEN THE CUB SCOUT HERE
WILL TELL YOU THAT.
BUT THEN AGAIN
I'LL GET A KICK OUT OF EMBARRASSING HIM.
OH, COME ON.
WOULD YOU PLEASE...
OH, THIS IS THE BEST PART FOR YOU, GILMORE.
RIGHT?
RIGHT.
THAT'S NOT MY MERCHANDISE.
IT'S TOO CHEAP.
YOU ONLY DEAL IN QUALITY ITEMS.
Stone: THAT'S RIGHT.
COME ON, YOU GUYS CAN DO BETTER THAN THIS.
TRY AT LEAST FOR A CLASS-A FELONY, HUH?
GET HIM OUT OF HERE.
YOU'RE UNDER ARREST.
I DIDN'T DO IT.
"YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT.
"ANYTHING YOU SAY
"CAN AND WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU
"IN A COURT OF LAW.
"YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO AN ATTORNEY.
IF YOU GIVE UP THAT RIGHT..."
WOULD IT MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE
IF I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T DO IT?
THANKS FOR BAILING ME OUT.
IF I WASN'T GOING TO LONDON TOMORROW
I'D HAVE LET YOU SPEND THE NIGHT THERE.
I DIDN'T DO IT.
DON'T LIE.
I DON'T LIE.
WHY SHOULD I?
YOU DON'T EVEN LISTEN.
I'M ANGRY THAT YOU WERE DUMB ENOUGH TO GET CAUGHT.
RIGHT.
IF YOU TURN A PROFIT, PROTECT THE BOTTOM LINE.
MAYBE NEXT TIME THERE WON'T BE A BOTTOM LINE.
HOW ABOUT IF THERE'S EVEN NO NEXT TIME?
( car engine starts )
HI.
CAN I EXPLAIN?
NO.
MS. CHADWICK...
DON'T CALL ME MS. CHADWICK.
YOU LIED TO ME.
NO, I MISLED YOU.
I WAS ONLY DOING MY JOB.
OH, "YOUR JOB."
EMOTIONALLY RIPPING OFF
AND HUMILIATING KIDS LIKE JEFFREY STONE.
IS THIS PART OF YOUR JOB, TOO?
A PRETTY NICE GIFT
BUT I DON'T IMPRESS THAT EASY.
I DIDN'T GIVE YOU THIS.
CUTE CARD, BUT YOU SPELLED LORD BYRON WRONG.
WHEN DID YOU GET IT?
IT WAS ON MY DOORSTEP WHEN I GOT HOME.
NICE TOUCH.
REMINDS ME OF TENTH GRADE.
JEFFREY WOULD HAVE GIVEN ME VAN HALEN TICKETS.
ONE OF HIS NIGHTLY STOPS WAS YOUR BEDROOM WINDOW
TO WATCH YOU PICK OUT UNDERWEAR.
WHAT?
YEAH.
BUT HE DIDN'T GIVE YOU THIS.
HE WAS SOLD OUT TWO NIGHTS AGO
AND HE'S BEEN IN JAIL SINCE THIS AFTERNOON.
WHO DID?
NOT ME.
AND ALL THE ROSES?
NOW, THOSE I WISH I DID GIVE YOU, YOU KNOW.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
GO FROM HIGH SCHOOL TO HIGH SCHOOL
PICKING UP YOUR ENGLISH TEACHERS?
HEY...
I WAS THE ONE WITH A FLAT TIRE.
YOU WERE THE ONE WITHOUT THE JACK.
FIFTY-FIFTY, HUH?
SIXTY-FORTY, I'M IRRESISTIBLE.
AND OFF DUTY.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
BOYS DIDN'T KISS LIKE THIS
WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL.
IT'S A GOOD THING.
YOU NEVER WOULD HAVE GRADUATED.
WHAT'S WRONG?
IF I DIDN'T GIVE YOU THAT COMPACT DISC PLAYER
AND STONE DIDN'T GIVE IT TO YOU
MAYBE HE DIDN'T GIVE YOU THE ROSES EITHER.
MAYBE SOMEONE ELSE DID.
OKAY, MAYBE.
WHICH MEANS MAYBE I BUSTED THE WRONG GUY.
THAT'S MY BROTHER'S TROPHY
ALBERT.
KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF IT.
I WAS JUST CLEANING IT.
CLEAN THE WINDOWS, BUT STAY AWAY FROM MY BROTHER'S STUFF.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
GOOD QUESTION.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
BET YOU THOUGHT I WAS IN JAIL.
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE
TO HAVE A RICH FATHER, DO YOU, ALBERT?
I GOT TO TELL YOU, YOU'RE A LOUSY BASKETBALL PLAYER.
I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU.
YOU'RE AS BAD AS WHEN YOU PLAYED WITH MY BROTHER.
YOU STILL STINK.
YOU SET ME UP, YOU GOOF.
IT WAS YOU, MAN.
YOU SEE, I HANG AROUND HERE.
KEEPS ME AWAY FROM OUT THERE.
I SEE EVERYTHING.
I SAW IT ALL.
YOU STEALING STUFF.
I FIGURED, IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS.
TILL I GOT BUSTED FOR IT.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
PLAYING DUMB?
YOU'RE GOOD AT THAT, ALBERT.
YOU'RE THE ONE THAT PUT STUFF IN MY LOCKER.
YOU PUT THE ROSES ON MS. CHADWICK'S DESK.
I'M GOING TO TELL.
OLD MAN WEINTRAUB, THE COPS
EVEN PRETTY LITTLE MISS CHADWICK.
DON'T TELL HER ANYTHING, KYLE!
"KYLE"?
THAT'S MY BROTHER'S NAME, YOU TARDO.
DON'T TELL ME YOU DON'T REMEMBER HIM.
HE GOT YOU BUMPED TO THE BENCH.
BET YOU CHADWICK WOULD LOVE HIM.
YOU TELL HER, I'LL KILL YOU!
YOU?
YOU CAN BARELY EVEN MOP THESE HALLS.
PAL, YOU'RE A TARDO!
MY BROTHER SAID YOU HAD BAD MOVES.
YEAH, KYLE, BIG SHOT!
YOU GOT TO PLAY!
I GOT TO RIDE THE BENCH!
I'M NOT KYLE!
DROP IT, JANOWITZ, NOW!
( echoes of crowd cheering )
NO!
( echoes of crowd booing )
THE GUYS WHO GO TO THE PLAYOFFS...
THEY GET THE GIRLS.
THEY GET A CHANCE TO WIN.
THEY GET A LIFE.
THE GUYS WHO ARE ON THE BENCH...
THEY STAY THERE FOREVER.
( handcuffs clicking )
THANKS.
WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER STUFF-- STOLEN?
I BOUGHT IT.
WHY?
WHY NOT?
LOOK, JUST FOR THE RECORD
I WASN'T SPYING ON MS. CHADWICK.
I WAS TRYING TO GET UP ENOUGH NERVE TO ASK HER OUT.
YOU BEAT ME TO IT.
I GUESS I DID.
VERY SMOOTH ROUTINE, GILMORE.
VERY SMOOTH.
I'M IMPRESSED.
REMIND ME--
I OWE YOU A COUPLE GOOD SEATS
NEXT TIME SPRINGSTEEN COMES IN TOWN.
YOU GOT IT.
I'LL SEE YOU.
YEAH.
OKAY, KYLE...
THIS ONE'S FOR YOU.
( horn honking )
HEY, LIZARD BREATH!
DIDN'T YOU SEE ME?
HUH?
YOU GOT A DRIVER'S LICENSE?
GEEZ, GET OUT OF HERE!
Ioki: EVERYBODY DRIVES LIKE A MANIAC.
( muttering ): AN OFFICER CANNOT ENGAGE
IN DIRECT OR INDIRECT OWNERSHIP OF THE...
ORAL TEST, ORAL TEST.
AROUND THE CORNER, SIXTH FLOOR ELEVATOR.
Ioki: A CONVICTED FELON MAY NOT BE ISSUED A GUN PERMIT...
HARRY TRUMAN IOKI?
YES.
YOU'RE READY FOR YOUR EXAM?
YES.
MY DRIVER'S LICENSE.
HI.
CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK?
WHY DON'T WE JUST STAY IN?